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Latest News

14 / 04 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in China are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Azerbaijan in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 26th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the races so far - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

31 / 03 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Bahrain are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is China in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 12th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first two races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

17 / 03 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Australia are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Second race is Bahrain in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 29th March.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first race - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

I've reduced the weightings for Alfa Romeo because they were stronger than I expected.

09 / 03 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The 2019 season is now open for entries! You can change your team as often as you like so you might as well pick a team now while you're thinking about it. You can always read the rules later! You have until midnight GMT on Friday night (15th) to qualify for the first race in Australia.

25 / 11 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the final race in Abu Dhabi are in, and we have our winners! Check the results or see where your team finished.

We'll be back for a new season shortly before the real championship starts, in March 2019.

11 / 11 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twentieth race in Brazil are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Just one race to go - Abu Dhabi in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 23rd November.

28 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the nineteenth race in Mexico are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Only two races to go - next race is Brazil in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 9th November.

22 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighteenth race in Austin are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Mexico NEXT WEEKEND! Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 26th October.

You can still enter a new team for the final three races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

07 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the seventeenth race in Japan are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Austin in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 19th October.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

*** Some of the weightings have been tweaked *** for the final four races - check the league page for details.

02 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixteenth race in Russia are in! (Sorry for the delay - moving house!) Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Japan (Suzuka) THIS WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 5th October.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

16 / 09 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifteenth race at Singapore are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Russia in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 28th September.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

02 / 09 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourteenth race at Monza are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Singapore in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 14th September.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

26 / 08 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the thirteenth race at Spa are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Monza NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 31st August.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

29 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twelfth race in Hungary are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. We're into the summer break now, the next race is Spa in four weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 24th August.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

22 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race at Hockenheim are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Hungary NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 27th July.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

08 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race at Silverstone are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Hockenheim in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 20th July.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

01 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Austria are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Silverstone NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 6th July.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

24 / 06 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race at Paul Ricard are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Austria NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 29th June.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

10 / 06 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the seventh race in Canada are in, including the travesty that is Danny Ric not getting fastest lap. Sigh. Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Paul Ricard in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 22nd June.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. Oh and by the way, half of us are being beaten by my girlfriend. So we might need to up our game a little.

29 / 05 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
Sorry for the delay! The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Canada in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 8th June.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

13 / 05 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Monaco in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 25th May.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

29 / 04 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in Azerbaijan are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Barcelona in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 11th May.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

15 / 04 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in China are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Azerbaijan in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 27th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

08 / 04 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Bahrain are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is China NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 13th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. It's worth doing - if you'd missed Australia and then picked the perfect team for Bahrain, you'd be in the overall lead now! Special congratulations to The Big G, who jumped from plum last to 3rd place, largely due to the inspired choice of Pierre Gasly.

Note the Williams weightings have been increased due to them being shite.

25 / 03 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Australia are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Second race is Bahrain in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 6th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first race - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

18 / 03 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The 2018 season is now open for entries! You can change your team as often as you like so you might as well pick a team now while you're thinking about it. You can always read the rules later! You have until midnight GMT on Friday night (23rd) to qualify for the first race in Australia.

 

 

Severance

Severance

Cast: Danny Dyer, Laura Harris, Tim McInnerney, Toby Stephens, Claudie Blakley, Andy Nyman, Babou Ceesay, David Gilliam.

Directed by Christopher Smith.

Story: An office team-building trip goes all Hostel.

Running Time: 1hr 36 minutes.

UK Certificate 15.

 

Severance follows Shaun of the Dead's lead into the underpopulated Brit-horror-comedy genre, and comes out with most of its internal organs intact. Which is more than can be said for the cast.

Despite his protestations, Laura Harris insists that Andy Nyman attend the synergy workshop. I love British comedies, and office comedies tend to tickle my funny bone too (Office Space is one of my favourites), so Severance is off to a good start. Horror I can live without, and Severance definitely leans on the horror more than its predecessors. Right from the start we're led into many suspenseful wait-for-the-bang moments before the real gore begins and when it does, it's done with a great deal of black humour. The bear trap scene, for instance, (I shan't spoil it) is a great comedy moment, as is the fridge moment shortly afterwards. Severance has certainly got the comedy portion bang on. Well, up until the final reel, that is.

With hindsight, Danny Dyer perhaps shouldn't have stolen a kick-boxer's blouse. They should've learned from Shaun of the Dead. That movie ran out of steam once the plot had to be resolved, and so does Severance. The final twenty minutes is all about the chase, and as it does nothing that we haven't seen a zillion times before, it desperately needs the comedy element to spice it up - but by then most of the funnies have been used, so we're left with a slightly flat ending that doesn't really do the journey justice. However, it was great fun getting there, so I suppose I can forgive it that.

Claudie Blakley regrets questioning the smoking policy. Danny Dyer, who you may remember from the Cockney-crimelords-abroad movie The Business, is great at this sort of thing - ladding it up for laughs amongst a motley crew of tossers and strait-laced businessfolk. We really should see more of him, he's so much fun to watch. Tim McInnerney (Darling from Blackadder) makes a decent snivelling middle manager and Laura Harris (Marie Warner from 24) is adequate but fairly unsparkling in a largely underwritten role. Together they're a good team, supported well by the grim and funny storyline.

Severance does well at combining horror with comedy, falling halfway between Shaun of the Dead and Hostel. If the comedy had been sustained until the end, we might have had a 5/5 score, but as it is, 4 is fair. Highly entertaining.

I enjoyed this film: 4/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 4/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 4/5 - plenty of gore, one large pair of knockers briefly flashed, many drug references.

To enjoy this film you should: enjoy dark comedy.

 

Severance was released in the UK on 25th August.