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Latest News 26 / 02 / 2023 20 / 11 / 2022 13 / 11 / 2022 30 / 10 / 2022 23 / 10 / 2022 09 / 10 / 2022 02 / 10 / 2022 I've slightly changed the weightings of Alfa/Alpine/Haas to reflect their current performance. 11 / 09 / 2022 04 / 09 / 2022 28 / 08 / 2022 31 / 07 / 2022 24 / 07 / 2022 10 / 07 / 2022 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 03 / 07 / 2022 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 20 / 06 / 2022 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 12 / 06 / 2022 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. I've slightly increased the weightings of the Mercedes pair as their woes seem to be continuing. 29 / 05 / 2022 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 22 / 05 / 2022 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 10 / 05 / 2022 24 / 04 / 2022 I've slightly reduced the weightings of Norris / McLaren because they're doing particularly well at the moment. 10 / 04 / 2022 27 / 03 / 2022 I decided not to change the weightings again for now. Let's see how the next couple of races go. 20 / 03 / 2022 I have made some quick changes to the weightings - Haas seem much stronger than I expected and McLaren/Aston much weaker. I might tweak them again after Saudi. 13 / 03 / 2022 12 / 12 / 2021 05 / 12 / 2021 21 / 11 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 14 / 11 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 07 / 11 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 24 / 10 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 26 / 09 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 26 / 09 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 12 / 09 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 05 / 09 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 29 / 08 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 01 / 08 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 18 / 07 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 15 / 07 / 2021 04 / 07 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 27 / 06 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 20 / 06 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 06 / 06 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 23 / 05 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 09 / 05 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 02 / 05 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first three races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 18 / 04 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first two races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. The weightings for Alpine have increased because they've been a bit shit. 28 / 03 / 2021 You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first race - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. 21 / 03 / 2021
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Open Water
Directed by Chris Kentis. Story: A couple on a diving holiday become stranded in the ocean. Running Time: 79 minutes. Certificate 15
55 grand. Doesn't sound much to make a movie, does it? Two crew, two main actors plus a handful of bit parts, location filming ... surely that's a quarter of a million already...? Apparently not. Open Water was made in its entirety for 55 grand, allegedly. Who says Hollywood stars are raking it in? Mind you, watching the first 15 minutes it seems a little overpriced. If I walked into my local college and gave a camcorder to the first huddle of Media Studies students I came across, I would expect them to do a better job. It's horrible. Episodes of Eastenders have been better made. OK, slight exaggeration, but you get my point. In a peculiar way though, the achingly bad first act helped - because it set my expectations lower than the pulling standards of a 17-year old squaddie. Then Blanchard Ryan got her kit off and I was sold. I'm kind of joking ... but I'm kind of not. I like it when people say nice things for no reason, because it makes me feel good. I like it when someone smiles at me for no reason, because it makes me feel good. I drink alcohol, I watch movies, I drive cars - all because they make me feel good. And similarly, I like it when a beautiful woman appears naked on screen, because it makes me feel good. Call me shallow, call me neanderthal, call me evil if it makes you feel better, but even if you're not like that yourself, 80% of the men in your life are. They also secretly watch Big Brother in case the fit one flashes.
Sudden tone change alert... the trailer's just come on the TV while I'm writing this. Sorry, I should be giving you my full attention, but you know how it is - anyway, it's relevant. "A masterclass in film-making," the trailer says. Er, nooooo. With the best will in the world, that's bollocks, and if you believe that then you'll be very disappointed indeed. The trailer should say, "a human story made for flap-all money that went down well at the Sundance Festival." Go and see it with that attitude and you stand a far better chance of not hating it. Masterclass in film-making my arse. I enjoyed this film: I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: though once you've read this review it might go up by one or two. Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: Two points for Blanchard Ryan's exposure and one for the "extended peril" scenes with mostly unseen sharks. To enjoy this film you should: ignore the hype.
To buy Open Water, use the link below: |
Cast: Blanchard Ryan, Daniel Travis. 
Once Blanchard dresses again and all the men in the audience have a warm glow, the pair
go diving and the the real film-making begins. As soon as the pair are stranded, it's as if the
second-rate support act that no-one has heard of has finally trudged off the stage and the headline
act has broken into song. Nothing much happens except for the increasing
realisation of the couple's escalating peril, nevertheless it kept me captivated.
It sucked me in and absorbed me, I felt the
characters' desolation and desperation and I rooted for them to win through, and it's all thanks to
the low expectations. Interesting, isn't it - the PR around the movie has made it a very popular film,
but it has also, in my opinion, reduced the enjoyment of those who have seen it, by setting their
expectations unrealistically high. It's not Jaws, it's not particularly well made, it's not even scary -
it's simply a story about
two normal people who, through unfortunate circumstances that could happen to anyone, find themselves
in life-threatening danger. It's real and it works.
