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Latest News

14 / 04 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in China are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Azerbaijan in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 26th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the races so far - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

31 / 03 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Bahrain are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is China in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 12th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first two races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

17 / 03 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Australia are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Second race is Bahrain in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 29th March.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first race - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

I've reduced the weightings for Alfa Romeo because they were stronger than I expected.

09 / 03 / 2019
Fantasy F1:
The 2019 season is now open for entries! You can change your team as often as you like so you might as well pick a team now while you're thinking about it. You can always read the rules later! You have until midnight GMT on Friday night (15th) to qualify for the first race in Australia.

25 / 11 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the final race in Abu Dhabi are in, and we have our winners! Check the results or see where your team finished.

We'll be back for a new season shortly before the real championship starts, in March 2019.

11 / 11 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twentieth race in Brazil are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Just one race to go - Abu Dhabi in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 23rd November.

28 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the nineteenth race in Mexico are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Only two races to go - next race is Brazil in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 9th November.

22 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighteenth race in Austin are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Mexico NEXT WEEKEND! Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 26th October.

You can still enter a new team for the final three races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

07 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the seventeenth race in Japan are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Austin in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 19th October.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

*** Some of the weightings have been tweaked *** for the final four races - check the league page for details.

02 / 10 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the sixteenth race in Russia are in! (Sorry for the delay - moving house!) Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Japan (Suzuka) THIS WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 5th October.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

16 / 09 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifteenth race at Singapore are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Russia in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 28th September.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

02 / 09 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourteenth race at Monza are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Singapore in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 14th September.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

26 / 08 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the thirteenth race at Spa are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Monza NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 31st August.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

29 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the twelfth race in Hungary are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. We're into the summer break now, the next race is Spa in four weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 24th August.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

22 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eleventh race at Hockenheim are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Hungary NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 27th July.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

08 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the tenth race at Silverstone are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Hockenheim in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 20th July.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

01 / 07 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the ninth race in Austria are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Silverstone NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 6th July.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

24 / 06 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the eighth race at Paul Ricard are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Austria NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 29th June.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

10 / 06 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the seventh race in Canada are in, including the travesty that is Danny Ric not getting fastest lap. Sigh. Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Paul Ricard in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 22nd June.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. Oh and by the way, half of us are being beaten by my girlfriend. So we might need to up our game a little.

29 / 05 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
Sorry for the delay! The results from the sixth race in Monaco are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Canada in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 8th June.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

13 / 05 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fifth race in Barcelona are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Monaco in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 25th May.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

29 / 04 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the fourth race in Azerbaijan are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Barcelona in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 11th May.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed all the previous races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

15 / 04 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the third race in China are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is Azerbaijan in two weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 27th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

08 / 04 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the second race in Bahrain are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Next race is China NEXT WEEKEND. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 13th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first races - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going. It's worth doing - if you'd missed Australia and then picked the perfect team for Bahrain, you'd be in the overall lead now! Special congratulations to The Big G, who jumped from plum last to 3rd place, largely due to the inspired choice of Pierre Gasly.

Note the Williams weightings have been increased due to them being shite.

25 / 03 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The results from the first race in Australia are in! Check the results or see where your team finished. Second race is Bahrain in 2 weeks. Cutoff for edits is midnight GMT on the night of Friday 6th April.

You can still enter a new team even if you missed the first race - you'll get a late starter bonus to help you get going.

18 / 03 / 2018
Fantasy F1:
The 2018 season is now open for entries! You can change your team as often as you like so you might as well pick a team now while you're thinking about it. You can always read the rules later! You have until midnight GMT on Friday night (23rd) to qualify for the first race in Australia.

 

 

Tim Burton's Corpse Bride

Corpse Bride

Cast: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham-Carter, Emily Watson, Richard E Grant, Paul Whitehouse, Tracey Ullman, Joanna Lumley, Albert Finney, Christopher Lee, Michael Gough, Jane Horrocks, Deep Roy, Danny Elfman.

Directed by Tim Burton and Mike Johnson.

Story: An engaged puppet accidentally marries a corpse. As you do.

Running Time: 1hr 16 minutes.

UK Certificate PG.

 

Corpse Bride is the latest animation to hit the silver screens. Painstakingly made and beautifully presented, it's a masterpiece of animation - but it's not funny enough to take the prize.

Spirit de Corpse Corpse Bride, or Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, to give it its full title, is made with stop-frame animation. That is, the characters, puppets in this case, are moved a fraction, photographed, then moved again. I'm a little suspicious of this claim. Parts do look like they're done this way, but some of the movement is just ... well, too good. I find it very hard to believe that they didn't do the tricky bits with CGI. No matter though, whichever way you look at it, it's fabulous animation - the characters are gorgeous to look at. There is one problem though - I kept thinking that the voices didn't match the characters and couldn't think why. Eventually I twigged that it was because the mouths don't shrink when they talk - so when the bride's voice says, "I do," her mouth says, "I dah." It sounds like a minor thing, but it really distracts at times and seems bizarre when so much effort has been put into the rest of the production. Perhaps it's a trick to make us believe it's done using puppets after all!

Careful - marriage has strings attached. The voice acting is excellent by the main players, with Emily Watson giving a particularly special earthly bride and Helena Bonham-Carter as the dead one, showing she didn't just get the part by giving the director a son. Michael Gough, best known as Alfred the butler from the Michael Keaton Batmans is similarly wonderful as the wise old skeleton. Danny Elfman, responsible for the music in nearly all of Tim Burton's movies, visits the other side and has a go at acting himself, being surprisingly good as the musical Bonejangles. Maybe this distracted him, because the songs seem to stir things up a bit rather than fitting in - but then I've never been a fan of songs in movies so that might just be me! Standing alone, Corpse Bride is fantastic - but unfortunately it has to compare with stunningly good movies such as Madagascar and Wallace and Gromit and it never stands a chance against them. It's the facial expressions - puppets just can't contort their faces enough and so they can't generate the depth of character that a plasticine model or a drawing can. Considering the limitations of puppets, they've done a spectacular job to make it as good as it is.

Corpse Bride is a joy to watch and the kids will love it - but ultimately it lacks a little character compared to the genre leaders, which must surely be a consequence of using puppets. Definitely worth your money to see it though - it's hard to be disappointed with quality such as this.

I enjoyed this film: 4/5

I think the average moviegoer will enjoy it: 4/5

Testosterone Satisfaction Rating: 0/5

To enjoy this film you should: not expect it to be another Wallace and Gromit.

 

Corpse Bride is released in the UK on 21st October.